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In a devastating pandemic, US teens are ‘more alone than ever.’ Many struggle to find help.


By Paulina Firozi, The Washington Post December 19th 2021

Nathan Asher was scrolling through pages and pages of therapists. Starting in January, just shy of a year into the pandemic, they were looking for someone who could help with what felt like a crescendo of anxiety.

Asher, now 18 and a freshman at Appalachian State University in Boone, N.C., said around that time, things kept piling up. Facing mounting stress and burnout, Asher quit the French horn after six years only to pick up an entirely new instrument as they were applying to colleges for music. Their mother had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, so their family was “pretty hard-core in lockdown because we didn’t want to put her at risk at all,” Asher said. Under the weight of it all, Asher was struggling and wanted help.

Multiple boxes needed to be checked: The therapist needed to offer virtual sessions or be nearby their North Carolina home. The therapist would need to be gender-affirming and familiar with LGBT patients, and would need to provide what felt like a supportive space.

But every search, Asher would come up short.

“I didn’t need an addiction therapist, I didn’t need a faith therapist, I didn’t need a relationship therapist,” they said. “I was calling and sending emails and very rarely would I get a reply back.”

Asher’s search for care came as health professionals say mental health challenges among youth and their families have skyrocketed, exacerbated in the last couple of years in part because of the pandemic. Over the past year and a half, they say the stressors that young people experience even normally have been amplified, disproportionately impacting communities hit hardest by the pandemic. For some, this has meant scrambling for care as demand swells and as some are left behind because of lack of access. Still, as public awareness grows around mental well-being, others are creating new outlets for relief when things get to be too much.

The message has only grown louder in recent months. In late October, three prominent medical groups declared a national state of emergency in children’s mental health. A recent report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noted that while suicide rates dropped in 2020 overall, that wasn’t the case for younger Americans, with a slight uptick in suicides among all age groups 10 to 34, and a significant 5 percent increase among 25-to-34-year-olds. On Dec. 7, the nation’s top physician released a 53-page report that serves as an exclamation point on the warning that young people are in a crisis, saying the cumulative effect of the challenges they grapple with has been “devastating.”

“On the ground, in our clinics and hospitals, we’ve been seeing really increasing numbers of children with mental health concerns,” said Lee Savio Beers, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics. “A lot of what we’re seeing is more severe, and it’s getting harder and harder to access care. It just really felt like it was at a tipping point where we’re just seeing so many kids who are in need of support and without enough resources.”

[Suicide attempts among younger Alaskans have risen even as overall suicide deaths declined in 2020]

Beers, whose group was one of the three that made the declaration, detailed the ways education and normal activities for young people have been disrupted. Many have faced significant amounts of loss and grief. And these impacts on youth are disparate – the pandemic has had a profoundly disproportionate impact on communities of color.

“With the pandemic being such that it’s so isolating with us quarantining and socially distancing, I think people’s rates of depression, anxiety, for those who experienced trauma, maybe even PTSD, have gone up,” said Ernestine Briggs-King, a psychologist and Duke University associate professor. “And yet it’s been harder to access services – even though in some ways it’s been easier.”

Briggs-King said a ramp up in virtual therapy offerings during the pandemic in some ways increased whom providers have been able to reach, and allowed some people more options for accessing care. But she said people without equal access to telemedicine, perhaps because of a lack of Internet or smartphone access, have been left behind.

For some young people, increased demand for online therapy meant providers were booked and unavailable in times of need.

This year was not Asher’s first time searching for mental health care – they had previously struggled with depression in ninth grade. Around that time, they said they realized they were transgender. Asher came out that summer at a music camp, and then switched schools entirely going into 10th grade.

Asher had previously been diagnosed with a “mild episode of a major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder,” they said. So when stress during the pandemic accumulated, Asher knew how to look for a therapist. But this time, there were new obstacles, compounded by the public health crisis.

It took three months before Asher was able to find a therapist “because all of the telehealth therapists were full, and a lot of normal therapists were not wanting to make the switch to teletherapy.”

When they finally found someone to connect with, the therapist suggested Asher get an evaluation for ADHD. That evaluation wouldn’t happen until June.

“So I spent a good six months just kind of ruminating about the fact that I may or may not have ADHD,” Asher said. After that appointment, Asher said, they were diagnosed with autism, in addition to a confirmed ADHD diagnosis. The right diagnosis came as both a relief and its own source of stress – they began to understand underlying causes of their experiences, but it meant Asher needed to find more help, more answers, and perhaps face more roadblocks, as the pandemic continued.

“You start to realize, ‘Wow, this system is not made to support me,’ ” Asher said. “This system is not made to be accessible.”

Even before the pandemic, “we were in the middle of a children’s mental health crisis,” said Nathaniel Counts, a senior vice president of behavioral health innovation for Mental Health America.

He said in the decade before the pandemic, rates of adolescent major depressive episodes surged, and rates of children presenting in the emergency department for self-harm and suicidal ideation were increasing.

Then the pandemic hit, bringing its own set of burdens.

“The two words I’d used to describe it are disruption and stress,” he said. “The way that covid affected children is very different, depending on the child. But the common theme is it disrupted your day-to-day activities and created a new set of stressors for your family and for yourself.”

In big ways and small, the enduring public health crisis may have dramatically changed the daily world of a child or teen.

There were missed days of school, canceled sports competitions, skipped playdates; loss of access to mental health care or social services or food; loss of loved ones – the U.S. Surgeon General’s report cites these and a multitude of other unprecedented challenges that could have played a role in overall mental well-being.

Since the pandemic’s start, the report says “rates of psychological distress among young people, including symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders, have increased.” It points to recent research covering 80,000 young people worldwide that found depressive and anxiety symptoms doubled during this time.

There is also a growing public awareness about youth mental health that is partly a result of young people themselves discussing the issue and reducing the stigma, including through social media, said Danielle Ramo, a clinical psychologist and chief clinical officer at BeMe Health, a digital mental health platform for teens.

“Some of it is just broadly this generation being a bit more open in talking about their struggles,” she said. “And the plethora of the social world and the internet makes those conversations more public.”

Sreeya Pittala found herself struggling a few months into the pandemic and virtual school. Feeling “more alone than ever,” she said she wanted a place to have an open conversation about mental health, something she felt her school was missing.

So Pittala, now an 18-year-old senior at Newark Charter School in Delaware, started a chapter of Bring Change to Mind, a national nonprofit with student-led clubs at high schools across the country.

The group started meeting virtually, an outlet for members to talk about any struggles or anxiety related to school. At the time, there was plenty fueling that stress.

Going through the motions of high school behind a screen became an unending task, Pittala said. There were always assignments to complete even while the options for a respite – a lunch break at school with peers, time with friends at all – had been taken away. Even when calls with friends were scheduled, Pittala said, they were often for the purpose of working together on school assignments rather than “scheduling a call just to talk about life.”

She described the pandemic for teenagers as “pretty lonely.”

“It was just really unmotivating and exhausting. It felt miserable at times,” she said.

In its October declaration, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the Children’s Hospital Association called for increased federal funding for mental health screenings, diagnosis and treatment. It also urged increased funding for and implementation of mental health care in schools.

“If you have really strong mental health and social emotional programing in schools that’s focusing on health promotion, that’s going to help create an environment that is more supportive of all children,” Beers said.

In November, the chief executive of the Children’s Hospital Association submitted a letter to the Senate Finance Committee calling for support for children’s mental health. The group said the letter was in response to an earlier request from lawmakers for input on ways to “develop bipartisan legislation to address barriers to mental health care” amid worsening trends during the pandemic.

In his recent advisory, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy said it would take an “all-of-society” effort to address mental health, and urged action.

“It would be a tragedy if we beat back one public health crisis only to allow another to grow in its place,” Murthy said.

Jessica Caballero, 17, is also involved in a Bring Change to Mind club at West Ranch High School in Stevenson Ranch, Calif. Even before the pandemic, she described a challenging start to the school year that began in 2019. There were fires near where she lives in Southern California. In the fall, she went into lockdown when there was a shooting at another school in the district.

“It wasn’t really a good year for any of us, you could say – all this stress and anxiety,” she said. “When covid hit, it just hit all of us pretty hard.”

She remembers thinking she’d have just a couple of weeks off school. Then her aquatic club team practices were canceled. The in-person school year vanished.

“It really left me in a state of isolation,” she said.

She found solace in her family and her little siblings. She also found comfort in the club meetings that provided a place to talk openly about mental health.

“As a Mexican American Peruvian, mental health was never a huge topic in my household. It was always kind of seen as a choice like, ‘Oh, are you depressed? Just be happy. You have no reason to feel like this,’ ” Caballero said. “So I never really had this kind of strong connection with anybody in particular, especially when it came to talking about my own struggles.”

She said she wishes “more people just validated the feelings of people who need to talk and who need help.”

Counts said he believes young people should also be “directly engaged” with coming up with solutions for meeting youth mental health needs.

“The world of children is changing so rapidly, far more rapidly than I think adults can grapple with,” he said. “Only young people really have that kind of fundamental insight into what it is they need.”

Beyond school walls, Briggs-King said, it helps to have resources and sources of support in any space young people are in. That can come from coaches, teachers or neighbors – because when an entire community understands more about trauma, it may be better equipped to notice when issues arise.

She said: “Then you have a piece to communicate about a topic of conversation: ‘You know, I was worried about you. How are you sleeping? I know you’re not hanging out with your friends, you’re not playing sports – are you OK? Is there anything going on?’ “

Having an understanding of mental health and trauma can also help people communicate what they are feeling, she said, and can help families and friends pay attention to signs and express concerns they may have about loved ones.

Briggs-King added: “My mama used to say, ‘You know better, you do better.’

If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255). You can also text a crisis counselor by messaging the Crisis Text Line at 741741.

The Washington Post’s Dave Jorgenson and Chris Vazquez contributed to this

MLK Day- The Man in the Mirror

I Have a Dream - Poster Art for Social Justice - Ricardo Levins Morales

A musical tribute to help us celebrate the day.

5 of Martin Luther King Jr.’s most memorable speeches

Martin Luther King, Jr. Wall Art: Prints, Paintings & Posters | Art.com

By Emilie Plesset

Before he was assassinated at age 39, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. led the 1955 Montgomery bus boycott, organized the 1963 March on Washington, advocated for civil disobedience and non-violent protest, and became one of the most influential figures in American history.

Fifty years after his death, here’s a look back at some of the civil rights leader’s most memorable speeches.

“I Have a Dream” – Washington, D.C., August 28, 1963

In his most famous speech, King stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and called for an end to racism in the United States before a crowd of more than 250,000 people.

“I say to you today, my friends, though, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.”

“Our God is Marching On” – Selma, Alabama, March 25, 1965

Delivered after the historic marches from Selma to Montgomery, historians consider King’s triumphant deliverance of his “Our God is Marching On” speech to mark the end of the civil rights movement’s first phase focusing on legal and political rights. The movement would later focus on fighting for economic equality.

“How long? Not long, because no lie can live forever. How long? Not long, you shall reap what you sow… How long? Not long, because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

 “Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break the Silence” – Riverside Church in New York City, April 4, 1967

Exactly one year before his assassination, King condemned the Vietnam War at a time when a majority of Americans still supported the effort. King was criticized for the speech, considered one of his most controversial, and lost supporters for being too political.

“We are taking the black young men who had been crippled by our society and sending them 8,000 miles away to guarantee liberties in Southeast Asia which they had not found in Southwest Georgia and East Harlem.”

 “The Other America” – Stanford University, April 14, 1967

Just 10 days after declaring his opposition to the Vietnam War, King spoke to a crowd at Stanford University and advocated for economic and social equality. In his “Other America” speech, King described “two Americas” to highlight the growing poverty gap in the United States as a root of inequality. King gave a similar version of this speech at Michigan’s Grosse Pointe High School on March 14, 1968.

“One America is beautiful for situation… millions of young people grow up in the sunlight of opportunity. But tragically and unfortunately, there is another America. This other America has a daily ugliness about it that constantly transforms the ebulliency of hope into the fatigue of despair… They find themselves perishing on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity.”

“I’ve been to the Mountaintop” – Memphis, Tennessee, April 3, 1968

In his final speech, King addressed a church filled with striking sanitation workers who were protesting their low pay and working conditions. King emphasized the importance of unity and nonviolent protest in the fight for justice, no matter how painful the struggle.

“Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop… And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land.”

What is Servant Leadership- MLK Day

IPHA AmeriCorps Members to Serve on MLK Day - IPHA

MLK day invites us to reflect not only on service but on leadership. Here is an inspiring video on the principles of Servant Leadership, the role that MLK best epitomized.

Service for MLK Day

MLK Day | AmeriCorps

AmeriCorps has traditionally taken the lead for the national celebration of MLK day. Here is their inspiring video.

For MLK Day-Harlem Dance

Watch and be inspired by the dancers of the Harlem ballet as they celebrate The Movement and remember MLK Day in a special Way.

Renowned Harlem-based ballet troupe bringing show to Hatfield Hall on March  20 | Features | tribstar.com

The Best Servant Leadership Talks on YouTube

Servant leadership: The 9 reasons why it makes you a better manager | RCMT  IT Europe

Before we dive in five of the most intriguing and thought-provoking talks on the past, present and future of Servant Leadership, if you are not well-acquainted with this concept, just watch the video below:

Now that you have covered the basics, let’s move on to listen to three people that have been practicing Servant Leadership, in one capacity or another, and have a lot of wisdom to share:

How Great Leaders Serve Others: David Marquet at TEDxScottAFB

David Marquet summarizes his career so far on his LinkedIn profile like this: “Bestselling Author, International Top Ranked Keynoter, saving companies $$millions by building leaders at every level.”

So it’s fair to say that a talk by him on what happens when you give people control and how you can coach them into using it in a constructive way is a definite must-see.

Servant Leadership: How a jar can change the way you lead and serve — Ali Fett

Ali Fett, whose motto is “who you are is good enough; don’t ever stop creating better versions of yourself. It feels great to grow” shares how leaders and coaches can serve others and show them the path towards becoming the best version of themselves.

Ken Blanchard — Servant Leadership

American author Ken Blanchard has a mission: he wants to turn every leader into a servant leader! In this talk he discusses servant leadership and draws attention to the self-centered leader. When a leader believes that leadership is all about them, where you they want to go and what they want to achieve, then their leadership, by default will be more self-focused.

On the other hand, if your leadership revolves around meeting the needs of the organisation and the people working for it, you will make different choices that will reveal a more “others-focused” approach.

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If you are in need of more Servant Leadership inspiration in your life, make sure to check the relevant articles on the Agile Actors Playbook:


School Should Teach Us These Eight Simple Things (Yet It Doesn’t)

Tim Denning  On Medium Dec 29, 2021 · 6 min read

Harvard is now officially a school for stupid, rich people.

Successful businessman Balaji Srinivasan said this recently. It took me by surprise. The comment came after Harvard University announced that in 2026 no SAT or ACT requirements are needed.

Whether or not you believe in higher education or traditional schools is irrelevant. The point is that education is transforming out of necessity.

Another issue is that teachers get paid poorly. Their role in society isn’t valued highly enough.

That’s why many of them are going online to find other ways to teach and get paid to do it. My US friend on Twitter left his job at a public school to teach online. He now makes more than $20,000 a month teaching online courses.

An education transformation is inevitable.

Here’s what isn’t normally taught in schools (and should be).

The way to make money and hold onto it

School gave me zero financial education. The basics of investing are a survival skill, thanks to record-high inflation. Most adults still don’t understand the second tax of inflation.

Even worse, most adults still don’t understand how money gets created out of nowhere and enters the economy.

School did something bad to me. Schools in Australia up until recently allowed banks into classrooms to sell products to kids. They gave them bank accounts called “dollar mites.”

The schools got a flat fee plus a kickback commission as a sweetener. Many of the kids held onto these accounts for life because, despite what you might think, many people don’t change banks due to the friction involved.

The government finally stepped in to stop the selling of bad money advice to children. It still happens in many parts of the world. Once you have a six-month emergency fund, a savings account is the worst financial product in the world that pays you 0%.

Schools need real financial education, not bank-sponsored education.

A career that involves multiple professions

At the end of high school the career counselor said “you must pick one career.” She tried to force me to study a trade like plumbing. Unclogging poo in toilets made me vomit in my mouth, just a little.

I couldn’t decide on a career so I left the school and went to another one. Didn’t fix the problem but worth a try.

The choose a job and do-it-for-life days are over.

School kids get taught to do one thing for work when the reality is they will do multiple things to earn a living over their lifetimes. As the rapid rise of technology continues, so too will the yearly evolution of the work skills we need.

Schools need to normalize the multi-career path.

How to avoid being a victim

School doesn’t teach the downsides of the victimhood mentality that’s infected so many parts of the world.

We have too many victims. We have too many people begging for sympathy cards in return for a free ride.

Real life isn’t fair.

None of us gets a clear run of fair opportunities to step into. You make life fair by not giving up. By pushing through the oppressors, not begging them to step down or waiting for them to get voted out of power.

When you get slapped down by life, become the hero of your story. Own it. See it for what it is: a huge advantage, plus free motivation.

Basic social media skills

Social media isn’t just about pretty pictures of exotic locations or 15-second TikTok videos anymore. Social media is communication. Without proper online communication skills, you get left behind.

A class in social media would teach how to:

  • Send DMs
  • Leave proper comments
  • Post content
  • Tell stories
  • Write for an online age
  • Edit videos
  • Be nice to strangers (a lesson in anti-trollship)

The ability to hold two opposing ideas in our heads

“I’m right and you’re wrong.”

Wars stem from this fatal skill we learn at school. Deep thinkers that change the world can hold two opposing views in their head at the same time.

They can believe that making money online is bad because it can increase credit card fraud, while simultaneously believing that an online business can help a person buy their time back and work from anywhere they choose.

School should teach us to stop trying to be right — and to learn to make people think.

Overcoming fear

The subject of psychology is a class you can choose to take at most schools. It shouldn’t be a choice.

When you understand human psychology you understand the world better and how it works. Fear is a crucial lesson we can learn from by studying psychology. School accidentally pushes us towards the path of comfort when all the intellectual growth is found when we get uncomfortable.

Once you know what your fears are you can understand at a deep level what will likely hold you back for the rest of your life.

You can work on your fears. You can master them. You can make your fears your slave rather than the other way round.

I can’t believe school doesn’t force us to study fear.

How to unf*ck the environment

Tim Ferris made a comment recently on his podcast that the main thing that keeps him awake at night is climate change.

It’s the biggest problem of the 21st century. Governments globally are still snoozing on it. Yet the signs of the Earth getting warmer are now undeniable. We all feel them. We all experience the wild changes in weather that never used to exist.

School doesn’t go deep on climate change. You’d be seen as a weirdo if you dared bring up the fact that farming animals for food is one of the biggest causes of climate change on Earth.

Until we learn more about climate change, the urgency to fix it won’t be there. Every year that goes by, the damage becomes more irreversible. You and I will probably be fine. But what about future generations?

Climate change education must start in schools.

The advantages of failure and rejection

Schools are full of tests. Get a good grade? Good boy? Fail on a test? Bad boy.

Life couldn’t be more different. Life tests you. With business, for example, you’re supposed to fail multiple times. That’s how you learn what *not* to do.

Rejection is seen as bad too. Get rejected from your favorite prestigious university like Harvard? You should get upset. You should feel bad. Wrong. Getting rejected makes you want a goal MORE.

Rejection increases motivation.

Get rejected from every job you apply for, like I did when I got fired, and you’ll become the most direct, succinct, assertive, beautiful human.

Rejection isn’t failure. Rejection is redirection to a better opportunity.

How to have more than one income

You know, so we don’t lose our job and end up on the street.

One income equals enormous risk, yet this is the default path taught in schools. If you have one income then all it takes is a predictable recession to blow you over and force you into survival mode aka desperation.

Schools should teach us how to monetize the skills we gain more than once.

How to break the rules, not follow them

You do good on a test at school and you’re supposed to get all the rewards.

Those who are good at tests know how to follow the rules. But those who know how to legally break the rules get all the rewards in real life.

Following the rules stalls your life. Breaking the perceived rules turns on the turbocharger. It helps you see solutions others can’t. You find second and third doors the majority of people miss.

If there’s one necessary skill to learn in life, it’s that there are no rules. You make up the freaking rules as you go along. School doesn’t teach you that.

Parents hoped this school year might be ‘normal.’ It hasn’t turned out that way.

By Caitlin Gibson December 28, 2021 at 10:21 a.m. EST Washington Post

She’d spent 15 grueling months as a single, working mom of two children in the coronavirus pandemic, so when Eliza McCoy stood in the bright sunlight at her older daughter’s elementary school graduation in June, she finally allowed herself a sense of hope. After months of remote schooling, followed by months of a hybrid schedule, the fifth-grade graduates were allowed to gather on the baseball field of their school in Alexandria, Va. The teachers gave speeches, the kids walked across the stage to collect their certificates, and it all felt almost normal, which in turn felt rather surreal.

“It was just momentous, to feel like things were getting better, like we were finally coming to the end of this thing,” McCoy says. She imagined that the world might look even more familiar and welcoming by the time her daughter, Gabriela, started sixth grade.

But when Gabriela joined her new middle school this fall, she found herself in a world of even stricter safety protocols, surrounded by peers who seemed to be struggling with the tension of the abrupt reentry. There were new rules about how to navigate the crowded hallways; arguments and physical fights between students were a daily occurrence.

“I remember her talking about it being jarring,” McCoy says. “There were lots of rules to learn, and when she told me there were physical altercations every day, I was just mind-blown.”

September once beckoned like a light on the horizon, with the promise of a full return to in-person school. But for countless families across the country, that hopeful glimmer proved to be more like a mirage, as school systems nationwide have grappled with myriad challenges this fall.

Eruptions of violence among students have led some schools to temporarily revert to virtual learning, hoping to quell the aggression. Exhausted teachers are quitting or considering early retirement. Mandatory quarantine periods and testing protocols mean that families are often faced with upended schedules. Kids who have been deprived of a stable learning environment and normal peer socialization for an extended period of time are finding the readjustment emotionally overwhelming — and they’re bringing their worries, questions and feelings about all of this home to their parents, who are faced with guiding their kids through yet another tumultuous transition.

Why So Many Teachers Are Thinking of Quitting

McCoy, who works for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, is acutely aware that many children suffered significant trauma during the pandemic. So when Gabriela came home feeling confused and unsettled by the fights she was witnessing, McCoy explained to her daughter that her peers might be processing a lot of complicated emotions and experiences.

“In the beginning she would come home and talk about specific incidents in detail — she was surprised particularly by one fight between girls, because she had never seen that sort of punching, hitting and kicking between girls,” she says. “But now she’s become a little conditioned to it, so if you ask her about it now, she’s like ‘Yeah, Mom, it happens all the time, and I just make sure I’m away from it.’ ”

Karen Petruska, an associate professor of communication studies at Gonzaga University in Spokane, Wash., says she’s grateful that her 3-year-old daughter, Margaret, and 6-year-old son, Henry, are young enough to be spared some of the psychological stress that older students are facing. But this school year has still been anxiety-producing for Petruska and her husband, who is also a professor, and their kids: “Margaret has had at least 10 covid tests,” Petruska says. “She’s at a new preschool, she’s exposed to a whole bunch of new kids, and so she gets sick — and every single time, you have to panic.”

No one in their household has had the coronavirus, Petruska says, yet they’ve spent plenty of time at home waiting for test results to come back, or for cold symptoms to resolve. “There was a day I missed a meeting because I had to drive 40 minutes to a different Walgreens to get more at-home tests,” she says. “But I support public health. It’s just the reality of living in a pandemic.”

McCoy shares that perspective — and as she and her parent friends have reconciled their hopes for this year against the reality they’re still facing, she says they’ve commiserated about how this transition sometimes feels like a new stage of grief. “We all wanted to go back to school so badly, and we felt like things were getting better,” she says. “But now it seems like it’s still so hard, just in different ways.”


The dreaded phone call came the weekend after Thanksgiving: A school official told Morgan Baden, a 42-year-old communications executive in Maplewood, N.J., that a child in her son’s preschool class had tested positive. “We get that call on a Sunday night, and suddenly our entire week has changed,” Baden says. “My husband and I have to sit down and figure out who changes what, which parts of our schedule can be adjusted and which can’t, who will cover which shift. It wasn’t our first quarantine, and I’m sure it won’t be our last.”

Baden’s 4-year-old son has autism, so quarantine means missing his daily therapies, she says, and it is especially challenging for him to be abruptly separated from his schedule. “We really depend on those routines to get him through the day. He needs to know what to expect,” she says. “Trying to get an autistic 4-year-old to embrace flexibility is a really big challenge.”

Gene Beresin, executive director for the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital and professor of psychiatry at Harvard, says educators have told him that they’ve seen more “fidgetiness, oppositional behavior and defiance,” in their classrooms this year. “The kids who are more extroverted are more likely to be defiant,” he says. “The kids who are more internal, who are introverted, those are the ones who get more depressed and anxious and isolated.”

Adolescents and teens are more likely to be attuned to the stresses that weighed on America’s children even before the pandemic — worries about climate change, gun violence, economic inequality, racism — while younger kids might still be struggling with the abrupt separation from their parents after so much time together, Beresin says.

What the ‘return to normal’ means for toddlers who no longer remember ‘normal’

A disproportionate burden will fall, as it always does, on the most vulnerable children, including “underserved populations who have limited resources, who face environmental problems, who are dealing with unemployment, family stress, or poverty,” Beresin says, as well as children who were already coping with mental health or learning disorders.

It was February 2020 when a teacher suggested to Erin Neal, a 50-year-old aerospace lobbyist in Arlington, Va., that Neal’s now-8-year-old son, Ollie, should be tested for learning disabilities. But the testing was delayed by the pandemic, and it wasn’t until December 2020 that Ollie was diagnosed with dyslexia. “Now he’s finally getting a ton of services, which is fantastic, and he’s almost back up to grade level,” Neal says. “But he’s so exhausted. He’s getting pulled out of class half the day for interventions, and then he’s going after school to meet with a private tutor. … They’re doing so much to help him get caught up, and that’s great, but his little brain and heart and body are just physically fried by the time he gets home.”

The effects reverberate through the whole family, she says: “Any little ruffle or disturbance — a forgotten coat, a misunderstood joke, a cup of spilled milk, the loss of a board game, his sister selecting the wrong family movie — can set his emotions off course, causing a cascading effect to ruin his mood, and consequently the family’s entire day or evening.”

As a mother of four and a business manager at an elementary charter school in Annapolis, Md., Ratasha Harley has seen the emotional fallout of the pandemic from distinct vantage points. Just a couple of weeks ago, a young student told her that he’d been having suicidal ideations, and she took him immediately to meet with the school counselor. “There are emotional breakdowns, and I think kids are just not really knowing how to handle things that I think they would have handled seamlessly before,” she says. “The mental toll that all of this has taken on children, I don’t think we’ll ever really be able to measure that.”

As a parent, she is relieved that her own children, who range in age from 11 to 15, have shown such resilience throughout the transition. “I think what’s been so inspiring for me watching my children is that they were all so excited to go back to school,” Harley says. “Even my younger daughter, who is my introvert, who doesn’t have a lot of friends … but I could see how being isolated really affected her; it affected her grades, it affected her emotionally. And I thought that the biggest problem would be getting them up in the morning, getting them back into a routine, but the fact is that they were so excited just to be back in the school building.”


When McCoy’syounger daughter, Lena, started kindergarten during the pandemic, McCoy grieved the loss of a rite of passage — the proud moment when her little girl would walk into school for the first time. Instead, Lena was home with her mom for the entire school year, and when she returned to in-person school for first grade in September, she struggled with severe separation anxiety.Advertisement

“She just really devolved in that first month of school,” McCoy says. The school counselor told her that Lena’s response was not unusual, she says, “especially for kids going into first grade who missed that first-day-of-school transition into independent education the year before.”

Things have slowly been improving since then, and one recent afternoon as McCoy picked Lena up at school, the 7-year-old hopped into the car and declared: “Mom, I love my school!” McCoy was stunned. “I asked her, ‘Is it something specific that happened today?’ And she said, ‘No! It’s just great.’ ”

McCoy knew the epiphany might not last. There would surely be more quarantines, more safety protocols, more emotional fatigue in the new year. But in that moment, Lena was happy to be at school, and McCoy was so relieved that she started to cry.

Four months into this strange new school year, there is a mix of cautious optimism and weary resignation as parents look ahead. Vaccines for school-aged kids finally arrived, but so did the omicron variant. There is the feeling that we’re learning how to navigate all this, how to adapt to the altered landscape.

“I feel like there was a general sense that once the vaccines rolled out, we would be well on a path toward normalcy — and I think that narrative has changed a bit,” Baden says. “But I will say it feels a lot better than it felt this time last year, and I feel like I’m both a lot more optimistic and more realistic. I don’t think I foresee schools closing the way they did last year in the future.” She laughs nervously. “Hopefully.”

By Caitlin GibsonCaitlin Gibson is a feature writer at The Washington Post. Since joining The Post in 2005, she has contributed feature stories, essays, long-form enterprise and local news to the paper and The Washington Post Magazine.  Twitter

In Memory of a Peace Maker

When Desmond Tutu stood up for the rights of Palestinians, he could not be  ignored | Chris McGreal | The Guardian

Reflection from Archbishoip Tutu’s funeral

We trust that beyond absence there is a presence. 
That beyond the pain there can be healing. 
That beyond the brokenness there can be wholeness. 
That beyond the anger there may be peace. 
That beyond the hurting there may be forgiveness. 
That beyond the silence there may be the word. 
That beyond the word there may be understanding. 
That through understanding there is love.  — Unknown 

TRIBUTE TO ARCHBISHOP EMERITUS DESMOND MPILO TUTU.

The late Archbishop emeritus Desmond Mpilo Tutu passed away on Sunday 26 December 2021 in Cape Town. He was 90 years old. The Archbishop had been battling cancer since about 1998. The nation is in mourning. A phenomenal public citizen has departed, and the citizens are left bereft.

Archbishop Tutu was quintessentially a churchman, a spiritual leader, and a moral guide to this nation over a period of some 45 years since he broke into public life in South Africa when, as Dean of Johannesburg, he wrote that prophetic open letter to the Mr BJ Vorster, then Prime Minister of the National Party Government that was in power. In that letter he boldly warned about the catastrophe that was looming as young Black people would no longer tolerate the conditions of life that apartheid was imposing on them, and that the townships ghettoes were bursting with anger and resentment. As history would have it, on 16 June 1976 the Soweto Students’ protests erupted barely three months since Tutu’s letter was written to the apartheid authorities and for which he never received even the decency of an acknowledgement.

But that was not all there was about Archbishop Tutu. As General Secretary of the South African Council of Churches, the now Bishop Desmond Tutu, championed an ecumenical vision that was founded on justice, equality, and the dignity of the human person. The SACC was organized to be able to respond to human needs in South Africa and to denounce all that denied the capacity of God’s people to become more fully human. During that time a programme to support those who were prisoners of conscience, those who were banned or banished from their homes by the system, victims of forced removals and the churches were mobilized to provide care for their dependents of such victims of a pernicious system. He led the churches into a world-wide movement to boycott the apartheid state and called for sanctions to be applied against the apartheid regime.

As Bishop of Johannesburg and later as Archbishop of Cape Town, Archbishop Desmond Tutu accomplished three extraordinary feats. He caused the world community to recognize the SACC as an alternative governmental forum in South Africa that met the developmental needs of the poor whereas the apartheid state sought to oppress and suppress free expression and indulged in inhumane treatment of citizens on the basis of colour. Secondly, in his time he sought to unite all South Africans and to recognise the leadership of the people even if they were incarcerated on Robben Island or exiles based in neighbouring states, or their organisations whether they were banned or not. He insisted on his right to recognize any and never to be dictated to by the apartheid regime in recognizing who the leaders of the people would be. He freely travelled and he freely met and ministered to those who were in the liberation movement. He affirmed that Nelson Mandela was destined to become the President of South Africa.

Thirdly, he recognized that as the apartheid system was facing defeat, notwithstanding that a war was unleashed against the people by agents of the apartheid state. He decried negative stereotypes of our struggle as in the pernicious practice of necklacing, and he prevented gang justice against those suspected to be agents of the apartheid system thereby risking his own life. For him, while the Peace Process was paramount, it needed to be understood as provoked by the apartheid state itself as it sought to further entrench itself and to avoid the inevitable.

It is fair to say that that the work he did in his militant opposition to apartheid and in his indefatigable quest for peace even in difficult circumstances won him the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984. South Africans were ecstatic, and the apartheid state was morose as yet another brick in the apartheid system was set to fall. Archbishop emeritus Desmond Tutu received many international accolades and awards from states as far apart as US, Britain and India; from over 100 universities and from many other international bodies. He served as President of the All Africa Conference of Churches and there he was honoured for his PanAfrican vision.

Archbishop emeritus Tutu fashioned his life and the church that he served to become truly the agents of reconciliation by expressing with urgency the need for national identity and social cohesion. It was then that for him the defining characteristic of South Africa was as a rainbow nation of God. Thus, he spoke of his dreams about South Africa as a home for all her people – something that was at loggerheads with the apartheid dictat, and that was of course at the heart of the Freedom Charter.

To many, he may have made a mistake in announcing that now that the leadership of the liberation movement was back, he was happy to withdraw to his church responsibilities. While that may have been said in a lighthearted manner or as a dig on those who accused him of having political ambitions. He sought to establish the church as a critical partner in development and in nation-building.

As it happened, the National Conference of Churches held in Rustenburg Conference in 1990 provided an opportunity for the churches to reflect together on the role of the churches and to make a common declaration considering the political changes that were then underway. The Conference became famous for the confessions made by the delegates from the DRC Churches, but more seriously the Conference called for a new solidarity in nation building.

That became the mission of Archbishop emeritus Desmond Tutu for the remainder of his episcopate. Upon his retirement as Archbishop of Cape Town in 1996, he was appointed by President Nelson Mandela as Chairperson of the Truth & Reconciliation Commission. In that capacity he drove this nation to revealing as true a nature of the inhumanity of apartheid as one could; amnesty was granted, and reparations proposed. The TRC laid bare the depravity of the apartheid system and gave credence if any was needed to the charge by the international community that apartheid was a crime against humanity.

Archbishop Tutu became identified worldwide as the face of the TRC. He empathized with the victims; he was outraged by the sheer inhumanity and dehumanization of the apartheid police, and he shared the pain of the survivors and their families, and he lamented leaders in government, church and society pretended that they were ignorant of the goings-on in the security system that they did nothing about for far too long. In many respects he became a Pastor Niemoller of our times.

In his life Archbishop emeritus became a teacher and a prophet. He reminded this nation about its truest values of ubuntu and, to the recalcitrant, he pronounced the wrath of God in no uncertain terms. As a public figure he was never in doubt about his role in society. He was proud to be a South Africa under our constitutional dispensation but when, soon thereafter the democratic dispensation became self-serving and simply perpetuated the inequalities of the past, he did not hesitate to denounce policies that failed to change the system bequeathed by apartheid. When the politicians showed no regard for the poor and the needy, he decried the state in which our country had found itself.

South Africa has lost a great South African. He was a global figure who had his feet on the ground; a spiritual and a church leader who was guided only by the prescripts of the gospel. As Shakespeare puts it:

“he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs…”

This is the time for this nation to take stock and to press the re-set button if it is to honour the teachings of and celebrate the life of such a great South African.”

The Thabo Mbeki Foundation was honoured to partner with the Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation to establish the National Foundations Dialogue Initiative as an instrument to encourage the nation to bring matters to resolution by dialogue, and to abjure conflict, and ethnic sentimentality and other narrow and exclusionary identities.

The Patron of the TMF, President Thabo Mbeki, our Board and the Staff would like to convey our deepest condolences mam’uNomalizo Leah Tutu, their children; Trevor Thamsanqa, Thandeka Theresa, Nontombi Naomi, Mpho Andrea and the entire Tutu family. May he rest in eternal peace!

Issued by the Thabo Mbeki Foundation 28 December 2021